I'm feeling...

ANTSY...

Symptoms and Theories

A friend of mine once told me that taking a class in mental disorders made her think that she (and everyone else in the world) had about 10 of them all at once because she kept seeing the symptoms of these disorders in her own (and others) behaviors. The truth was, she didn't have any of these disorders. But simply learning about them made her see those things in herself. I thought it was kind of funny that she thought there were all of these things wrong with her when it was quite obvious to me that she did not have any of these disorders just because she exhibited some of the symptoms.

This semester, I am in a theories in family perspectives class. One theory that we recently learned about is called Social Exchange Theory. The basic idea is that humans are self-interested and will try to maximize rewards and minimize costs in every situation they are faced with to have the most profitable outcome possible. A lot of research in the area of relationships has been done using this theory and it makes sense because isn't that what we all want in our relationships with others, be it coworkers, friends, or family? To maximize our rewards and minimize our costs? In learning about this theory, I've been seeing myself in some of the concepts that are presented. Or maybe it is just that now I have been exposed to this new information, I think that I am displaying some of the 'symptoms' of this theory.

However, there is a critique of this theory that also makes sense. If humans are self-interested, how can we account for altruism (kindness to others)? I think about church lessons on service and charity and how they always point out that even though we are helping others, we are also helping ourselves because we are happy as a result of our kindness. Does this mean that every time we do something nice for someone it is because we are trying to serve ourselves because we think we are going to get something out of it? Or is it just a happy byproduct?

Another critique of this theory also attacks the idea of self-interest. It claims that if we, as humans, are always trying to serve our own self-interest, then how can we account for sacrifice? When I think of sacrifice, I think about how something cannot truly be considered a sacrifice unless we are giving up something good (a reward) in favor of something that is not as good (a cost). According to this theory, my decision could not be thought of as profitable and therefore, I am not acting in my own self-interest. But what if the cost at that time is actually not a cost compared to what the reward is in the long term?  This idea brings to mind the Atonement. Choosing to go through so much pain and torture was very costly to His (earthly) body, but Jesus Christ's reward of eternal life and being able to prepare a way for us to return to Him was so much greater than the cost of sacrificing His (earthly) life.

So I guess my main thought is this: If we can sacrifice our own self-interests in favor of others self-interest, then our interactions with others are going to be more profitable than they would be if we think only of our own self-interest when making decisions. It's not that we are necessarily trying to serve ourselves when we serve others; instead, we can't avoid helping ourselves when we are trying to serve others. (I guess theories really are useful in helping us understand the world.)

Happy Birthday Mom!

Even though my mom's birthday was a month ago, I still wanted to pay tribute to her and tell her how much I love her! She is the best mom I could have! :)

We Found One!

We found an apartment!  We love it!  We are so excited to move into it! (Don't worry 5th ward friends--I will miss you!)  It is a basement apartment in Orem in a newer home.  I promise to post pictures as soon as we move in and everything is settled.  But we are so stinking excited! :)

Never Forget

Yesterday I went to a funeral of the brother of Covey's good friend.  The brother was a Marine who had been killed in Afghanistan by a land mine at the age of 21.  As I looked at the dates of his birthday, I realized that he was younger than my next youngest sister.  Sitting there listening to the memories of this Marine and looking around at the completely full chapel and cultural hall, I couldn't help but think about how much I hoped that I would have at least that many people come to my own funeral one day (hopefully far in the future).  I hope that I am able to touch enough lives that everyone there will be there because they knew me.  I don't want that to sound conceited.  I just really want to make a different in people's lives.  It got me thinking about a poem that I read called 'The Dash' that I saw at another funeral.

The Dash - by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

I really love the perspective that this poem provides.  I think that as humans we tend to get so caught up in other things that we forget about what's really important.  It's not the money, the nice clothes or fancy car--those aren't the things that people remember about us.  It's who we are as a person that matters most.  I have most often found that funerals, while sad, are such a wonderful reminder of how we need to be better and try harder to do and become the person we need to be in order to return back to Heavenly Father and Jesus and the others who have passed before us.  I never want to forget the things that are most important to me--my husband, my family, my friends, the Gospel, and my Savior.  I hope and pray that I will never forget.

A bit of encouragement

A girl at work sent out an email the other day with this quote and I found it encouraging:

"Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength."

My Latest Sweet Indulgence

 

I love these!

Looking...

Covey and I will be graduating this April and as part of the celebration, we are moving!  The problem is, we don't know where yet.  We'd really like to get out of Provo, or at least away from BYU where there is so much stinkin' traffic.  If there's one thing I hate it's crowds and Provo, especially around BYU, is getting so crowded.  So we'd like to move away from the college scene.  Ideally, we're looking for a place in Orem, Lindon, or PG but we'd take something in North Provo if it was really great and not too close to the school.  So I'm posting this in hopes that someone will read it and let me know if they know of anything coming up available at the mid to end of April or the beginning of May.  I've included some of the things we'd like in an apartment (not all of these must be included but would be nice):

• 2-3 bedrooms (BIG)

• 1-2 bath

• W/D hookups (not in the kitchen area of the apt or in the bathroom)

• Large closet in master bedroom

• Spacious and open

• Lots of storage space (for food and other)

• Gas stove (I can hope!)

• Newly remodeled if an older place

• 800+ square feet

• preferably not a basement apt (unless there are high ceilings and lots of natural light)

• balcony or porch big enough for a grill (Covey's request)

• max rent: $750-$775 (including utilities) 

So that's pretty much it!  If anyone hears of anything, please let me know! If you helps us find a place, we'll invite you over to dinner first out of anyone! :)

Random Food for Thought

You ever have those days where are just hungry and absolutely nothing sounds good to eat?  For me, that is most days.  Or, what I am craving, I cannot or do not have.  Now, you might be surprised (if you don't know me very well), but I am pretty much always hungry.  It is rather annoying.  You kind of start running out of things that sound good to eat.  As a result, you just start eating because you have to eat, otherwise you're just going to be even more hungry than you are right at that moment.  But every once in a while, something sounds just divine AND you have access to eating it!  Those are great moments.  I really wish I had more of those moments.  I have a feeling that if I lived on a cruise ship, it would definitely happen more often.  Oh well.  A girl can dream...

On A Whim...

Today, Covey and I were hungry but nothing sounded good.  As I looked in our pantry, I saw that we had a ridiculous amount of diced tomatoes, black beans and green beans.  Then the thought came to me, "Why don't I make this into a stew/soup/goulash?"  So we did, and it was so yummy and fast!  So if you'd like to try it, I've included the 'recipe':

1 can diced tomatoes
1 can sliced green beans
1 can black beans
1 can corn
1/2 lb. ground beef
various spices and salts (onion salt, Mrs. Dash, chili powder, etc)

Pour tomatoes and beans into a large pot including the juice and let simmer for about 10-15 minutes (we didn't want as much juice so we let it go a little longer). Meanwhile, brown the ground beef and then put it in with the veggies.  Let it cook just a little longer and then put it into bowls and add flavor as necessary.

Servings: 2-3

This was a perfect amount for Covey and I for lunch.  You could easily double it to make more and have leftovers. Mmm...mmm...good!

Awww....

 

I WANT ONE!  SO CUTE!

My New Venture

 

I would like to make this quilt.  Problem is, I have no idea how to quilt.  We'll see how it goes...

My Love/Hate Relationship

*Disclaimer: I do not think I need to lose weight, nor do I think that I am not skinny.

I have a love/hate relationship with working out.  I love feeling more energized and being more toned and in shape when I do work out.  I hate knowing that I am going to have to force myself to work out until I get into a routine.  And even once I get into a routine, sometimes things come up that somehow seem more important than getting sweaty.  Now granted, I have done dance from the time I was 3 up through college and, to me, dancing is not working out even though it gives you one of the best workouts you will ever have in your life.  Unfortunately, trying to find a dance class on campus that works with my school and work schedule has been pretty impossible which has been really frustrating for me.  Then why not get a gym pass, you ask?  Because I do not have the money for a gym pass.  (I will gladly take donations though.)  Therefore, I am stuck with the workout videos of Denise Austin, Billy Blanks and Buns of Steel.  Nothing against them.  I'd just rather be dancing.

Despite my love/hate relationship with working out, this morning I woke up ready to go.  I cleaned the entire house and then thought, 'well, I am sweaty and smelly anyway' and pulled out my workout videos and became more sweaty and smelly.  Thank goodness for showers.  But bottom line, I am writing this post because I know that if other people know that I am trying to work out, then I feel accountable to them, even if they never say anything to me about it via blog comment or in person comment.  Wish me luck!

One of the worst things...

So there I was, sleeping in my nice warm bed, having a lovely dream

and all of a sudden I come flying awake because...HORROR!...I realize that I've slept through my alarm and I am supposed to be at work already!  I made it to work in record time, but the rest of the day I was kind of out of it because I hadn't really had time to wake up gradually like I usually do.  Honestly, I think that being startled awake, for any reason, is one of the worst things ever.  Not only is your heart going a million miles an hour, but you don't feel refreshed, no matter how much sleep you got the night before.  All I can say is that this had better not happen again any time soon.

Jenga!

Last night Covey and I wanted to play a game so we rummaged through our games and found Jenga which we hadn't played in a while.  So we pulled it out and set it up.  Now, as you may or may not know, Jenga starts out with 18 levels of 3 blocks each that are criss-crossed so that you can try and take out one block at a time and then stack it on top of the tower.  The point is to see how high you can get the tower before it falls over.  Covey and I were pretty impressed with ourselves when we got it up to 31 levels!  We decided to take some pictures to document this momentous occasion. :)

The tower

Covey is studying out his next move

Trying to figure out which one to pull out next

The blocks really did fall over right as we took this picture!

 

Out of My Mind

With as busy as I feel some days, the days that I don't have anything that I have to do, I can't think of anything to do.  I really don't have that many things on my plate as far as quantity goes, but I feel like those things just suck the life out of me.  It's go to work, go to school, come home, eat, homework, sleep and then do it all over again.  Half of the things that I want to do, I don't feel like I can because they cost money, which Covey and I are trying to save up to pay off student loans, to get some new furniture, hopefully move to a new place soon, and so many other things.  It seems like it is so much harder to find a variety of things to do when you are married that don't cost money because you don't live in an apartment complex where tons of things are going on.  People just have their own lives and trying to get together with friends sometimes seems like such a hassle.  And when you finally do get together with your friends, half the time you run into the same problem--the things you want to do cost money.

Honestly, I am going out of my mind, because I just want to have things to do that I enjoy without feeling stressed out because it costs money.  Or I can't think of things to do that don't cost money that both Covey and I will enjoy.  I get so frustrated with myself because I don't know what it is I even want to do sometimes.  Besides graduation, I just don't have anything that I am really working towards.  And even working towards graduation doesn't give me a lot to do.  It's almost like I try to leave my schedule so open in case anything does come up, that I don't plan anything and then I am bored because no one else has planned anything either.  I want to be able to do things with friends and invite them over to our place, but we don't have very much room for that where we are right now. 

I'm not meaning to sound like I am complaining because I am sure that if I put forth more of an effort to do things with people, I would have more fun.  So basically, if anyone wants to hang out and do stuff, totally let me know because I like to have fun but sometimes I just don't know how or what to do.  I am down for most anything.  And I don't care if you have kids.  I like kids.  Sure, they can sometimes limit what you can do, but that's okay.  Hanging out is hanging out and I want to do more of it!

New Years Resolutions

It's that time of year again when everyone decides to make new goals to try and accomplish in the coming year.  Every year, I do the same thing: I make a list of goals and then steps to take for how to follow through with them and then a couple months into the new year those goals just disappear.  This year though, I have some really good ones that I think will be a little easier to stick by.  Yes, I know that goals are supposed to push you to grow and I think that they will.  But the thing that gets people, I think, when it comes to making goals is that they tend to shoot so high that it makes it difficult to achieve them.  They certainly have good intentions but we all know where those lead...  So that is why I've decided to tone down my goals to a slightly more attainable level.  Some will be pretty easy like, graduate in April 2010 (that one is pretty much in the bag), but others, like saving a certain amount of money in our savings account each month for a house, are going to be a little harder.  Bottom line, I think that people need to have some goals that are a little easier to accomplish and put those together with other goals that are going to push them and make them better people.  This way, you don't get discouraged and decide not to set goals because you think "what's the use?".  Instead you ask yourself "what can I do to become better?" and then you do it.

Sigh...

I just wanted to breathe a sigh of relief that Christmas is over.  At least in terms of my job.  Otherwise, I want it to come again soon. :)

StReSsEd OuT

Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't Christmas supposed to be a time of happiness and goodwill towards men and women?  A time of joy and laughter and relaxation, especially for students whose brains have just been fried by final projects and exams?  Well, I have to say that this is probably the first year that I haven't been in the Christmas spirit.  What with all the stress that comes from being a student, working 40+ hours a week and teaching in RS, I just really wanted to feel all Christmasy.  You know--that peaceful feeling that comes when you look outside at falling snow, or walking around Temple Square looking at the lights?  That's what I want.  And I sure don't feel it. 

I know that part of this, well, most of this, is because of my position at work as a supervisor.  I'm the one who gets to take the angry calls of people who are "disappointed in our company" and want to know what we are going to do to make it up to them.  For heavens sake people!  Christmas is not the only time during the year to give gifts and tell people you care about them!  If your book doesn't get there until the day after Christmas, is your Christmas really going to be ruined?  If so, that is a pretty pathetic and totally skewed outlook on what Christmas is all about.  I want to reach through the phone and strangle these people for making my life, at that moment, just as miserable as theirs is.  I cannot control how long it takes the post office to deliver your Christmas cards!  I cannot make you understand that you have to order your projects more than a week before Christmas if you want them in time for Christmas!  But no.  I get to talk to the people who think that by telling you that you ruined their Christmas that it will help their package get there sooner.  Seriously?  Can't we just be nice to each other?  Can't we get it in our heads that we need to have the Christmas spirit all year long and not just one month a year?  I honestly think that if there was one single message that I can teach my children about Christmas, it is that we should treat people kind all year long and not just when we want something.  I know that sounds kind of cheesy, but it's true!  I just want people to have sympathy and be kind to each other and then, our world really would be a better place.

Christmas Crafts

This year, I decided to be crafty.  Literally.  It all started when my sister-in-law, Shannon, and I wanted to start a monthly craft night with the Ogden sisters and sisters-in-law using my lovely Cricut machine.  This sprung me into doing a bunch of other crafts to decorate my apartment with, as well as making some of my Christmas gifts for people.  Here are some of the things I have done so far:

This is hanging above our front door. (And yes, I know mistletoe is really one word.)

I had to modge podge every letter on this plaque.  Yes, it took forever.

I know that this is normally a decoration you might see more around Christmas time, but I wanted to make this a decoration I could have around my house all year long.

 

These are some coasters I made out of travertine tiles and rub-ons.

And here are some more. :)