Where to begin?

I'm realizing that it would have been a lot easier to stay caught up with my blog over the last 3 months than it is to catch up from the last 3 months!  So much has happened that I'm not even sure where to start.  So I guess I will begin at the beginning! ;)

The first few weeks after coming home from the hospital are a total blur.  I honestly can't differentiate from one day to the next.  One of the things that no one could have prepared me for was how tired I was!  I remember people telling me to catch up on my sleep because I was going to need it once Makadie got here.  I thought, 'um, how is that going to help me?  I can't stock up on sleep!'  I thought that it couldn't be too bad--kind of like finals week.  But once she got here, I understood what they meant.  And it wasn't like finals week at all.  It was finals week on steroids times ten to the billionth power!  Okay, that's probably an exaggeration.  But at the time, it sure felt like it.

My days consisted of feeding, sleeping, burping, rocking, bouncing and the occasional shower.  There were nights where I'd feed her and get her back to sleep, only to wake up 45 minutes later and do it all over again.  I remember feeling like it was never going to end.  Covey was great through it all.  He helped me get her to bed each night so that I could get to sleep a little earlier (which has actually turned into a nightly routine for the two of them).  Thankfully, after a month or so, Makadie started getting into a little more of a rhythm.  (I use the word 'rhythm' loosely.) 

As time has gone on, while I'm still doing the feeding, sleeping, burping, rocking and bouncing thing  (and I'm getting more than just the occasional shower), I try to think back to those first few weeks and they are hard to remember.  There was a lot of trial and error, tears and frustration.  But I guess that not remembering all the details really is a blessing because I think that if we remembered all of the hard things about having a baby, we might not want to have more.  A tender mercy, I suppose.  

I'm also grateful that babies don't remember all the crying they do because of their parents trying to figure everything out, 'cause I'm afraid they'd be scarred for life if they did!  ;)  In between all of this though, there were the bright spots: those first smiles, having Makadie fall asleep on my chest, seeing her little eyes show the first signs of recognition.  It makes it all worth the sleepless nights.  It makes you appreciate more what your own parents had to go through when you were a baby.  

It's so fun to see Makadie grow and develop every day.  So much fun, in fact, that while I was originally going to go back to work for about 8 hours a week while my mom watched her, I decided to quit completely and be a stay-at-home mom.  I tried going back for a few days but every time I was at work I kept wishing I was at home with her.  After thinking about it, I felt like that home was where I was supposed to be.  I do miss the people I worked with, but the good thing is that they are still there so I can visit them.  (Plus, if I ever wanted/needed to go back to work, my former boss--the president--told me she'd take me back in a heartbeat.  It's good to have friends in high places!)  

I really do love being at home with Makadie though and whenever I need a break, Covey is so willing to take over.  In fact, sometimes he pushes me out the door when he can tell that I need a break even if I haven't said anything.  I really am so blessed!